Sardar all the way

Yet another email containing some hilarious jokes. But friends, no offense meant.

Sardar declares:
.. . . I will never marry in my life &. . ...
.. . . I'll give same advice to my children also. .. . . .

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SARDAR talking on cell.

2ND SARDAR: kis se baat kar raho ho.

1ST: biwi se.....
2ND: itne... pyar se....?
1ST: tumhari hai. . .
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A donkey kicked sardar & ran away
sardar ran to catch the donkey.
He saw a zebra & started beating it & said
'SALA Tracksuit pahan ke dhoka de raha hai'.
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SLAM BOOK filled by Santa.

1. Strength:My wife, Jeeto.
2. Weakness:Banta' s wife, Preeto.
3 .Oppurtunity: When Banta is on tour.
4. Threat: When I am on tour
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sardar: Darling, years ago u had a figure like Coke bottle.
Jeeto: Yes darling I still do, only differnece is earlier it was 300ml now it's 1.5 ltr.
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On Jeeto's bday
Sardar had no money, so he sent a cheque of 100 kisses.
When he returns home Jeeto said: Thanks I got cheque encashed
from bank manager.
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teacher: make a sentence in which 1 word repeated 4 times
sardar: lara dutta marries brian lara and she becomes lara lara
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Teacher: is line ki english banao, usne apna kaam kiya or karta hi Gya.
Santa: He done his work and done dana dan done dana dan....
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Santa went to mysore palace.
Tourist guide - santaji plz dont sit there, its Tipu sultan's chair
Santa - oye dont worry yaar i'll get up when he comes.!!..
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Sardar wanted to make a STD. call to punjab,
He wanted to save money so what did he do?
Simple, he went to punjab and made a local call.
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Oye paaji, apni pregnant wife ko itne dard mein hospital
ki jagah pizza hut kyun leja raha hai........
Sardarji: Kyun key pizza hut mein"Delivery Free" hai.
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A Sardar enters shop shouts, Where is my free gift with this oil?
Shopkeeper: Iske Saath koi gift nahin hai bhai saab â ?o
Sardar : Oye ispe likha hai CHOLESTROL FREE.
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One tourist from U.S.A. asked to Sardar: Any great man born in this village?
Sardar: no sir, only small Babies!!!
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Teacher: A for?
Sardar: Apple
Teacher: Jor se bolo?
Sardar: Jay mata di.
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American says: " US mein shaadi E-mail se hoti hai.."
Sardarji says: " India me to.. shaadi Fe-mail se hoti hai...!!!"
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When TITANIC was sinking, a man asks Sardarji, how far is LAND?
Sardar: 2kms....
Man jumps into THE sea & asks: which way?
Sardar: DOWNWARDS.
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Sardar orders pizza.
Waiter: Sir shud i cut it into 4 pieces or into 8 pieces?
Sardar: 4 hi karde 8 khaye nahi jayenge
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Santa dials a number. A girl receives the call.
Santa: Who r u?
Girl: Seeta here.
Santa: Maine to Chandigarh phone kiya tha, yeh to Ayodhya mil gaya
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Banta: Truck dekhkar tum kaampte kyon ho?
Santa: Ek truck driver meri biwi lekar bhaag gaya tha, har baar lagta hai jaise usko vapas karne aya hai.
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Sardar sitting on the top of the mountain and studying.
When a person asked what he was doing?
He replied, Oye! higher studies yaar.
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2 sardars were fighting after exam.
Sir: Y r u fighting?
1 Sardar: This fool left the answer sheet blank,
Sir: So what?
1 Sardar: Even i did the same thing, now teacher will think that we both copied.
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A sardar learning english introduces his family in the party:
Hi! I am sardar,
this is my sardarni,
he is my kid, &
she is my kidney.
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Sardar 1: I'm very kanjoos, I went 2 honeymoon alone & saved 1/2 money.
Sardar 2: You r nothing I saved all my money, my friend was going & I sent my wife with him