10 most stupid questions

I am sure you will find the following very hilarious. Shared by a friend.

10 most stupid questions people usually ask in obvious situations and some equally stupid answers:-


1. At the movies: When you meet acquaintances/ friends
Stupid Question:- Hey, what are you doing here?
Answer:- Well, it's so hot, there were no cool cabs so I thought i'd watch some advertisements in the cool comfort of the theatre.

2. In the bus: A fat girl wearing pointed high-heeled shoes steps on your feet
Stupid Question:- Sorry, did that hurt?
Answer:- No, not at all, I'm on local anesthesia...why don't you try again or should i try this time."

3. At a funeral:One of the teary-eyed people ask
Stupid Question:-Why, why him, of all people.
Answer:-Why? Would it rather have been you?

4. At a restaurant:When you ask the waiter
Stupid Question:-Is the "blah blah blah" dish good
Answer:-No, its teribble and made of adulterated cement. We occasionaly also spit in it.

5. At a family get-together. When some distant aunt meets you after years
Stupid Question:-Munna, Chickoo, you've become so big.
Answer:-Well you haven't particularly shrunk yourself.

6. When a friend announces her wedding, and you ask
Stupid Question:-Is the guy you're marrying good?
Answer:-No, he's a miserable wife-beating, insensitive lout...it's just the money.

7. When you get woken up at midnight by a phone call
Stupid Question:-Sorry. were you sleeping.
Answer:-No. I was playing cricket for India at Sharjah and just when you called Salim Malik was betting with me that Pakistan would win. What do you think?

8. When you see a friend/colleague with evidently shorter hair
Stupid Question:-Hey have you had a haircut?
Answer:-No, its autumn and I'm shedding.... ..


9. At the dentist when he's sticking pointed objects in your mouth
Stupid Question:-Tell me if it hurts?
Answer:-And while I'm telling you, you tell me if I bite.


10. You are smoking a cigarette and a cute woman asks Stupid Question:-Oh, so you smoke
Answer:-No, it's a miracle ...........it was a chalk and now it's in flames!!!

Understanding Women

A man is walking down a beach, and accidentally kicks a bottle out of the sand. He opens the bottle, and a genie appears. The genie said, "I am so grateful to get out of that bottle that I will grant you one wish. I can only grant one."

The man thought for a while and finally said, "I have always wanted to go to Hawaii. I've never been able to go because airplanes are much too frightening for me and boats make me seasick. So I wish for a road to be built from here to Hawaii."

The genie thought for a few minutes and said, "No, I can't do it. Imagine all the work involved. All the piling to hold up the highway needed and all the pavement. Ask for something else."

"Well," the man said. "I would like to be able to understand women. What makes them laugh and cry, why are they temperamental, why are they so difficult
to get along with. Basically, what makes them tick."

The genie considered this for a couple of minutes and said,

"So, do you want that road two lanes or four?"

Who is intelligent?

Proof of which Gender is Intelligent

An English professor wrote the words:
" A woman without her man is nothing"
on the chalkboard and asked his students to punctuate it correctly..

All of the males in the class wrote :
"A woman, without her man, is nothing."

All the females in the class wrote :
"A woman: without her, man is nothing."

Punctuation is powerful!!

Does God exist?

A man went to a barbershop to have his hair cut and his beard trimmed. As the barber began to work, they began to have a good conversation. They talked about so many things and various subjects. When they eventually touched on the subject of God, the barber said: "I don't believe that God exists."

"Why do you say that?" asked the customer.

Well, you just have to go out in the street to realize that God doesn't exist. Tell me, if God exists, would there be so many sick people? Would there be abandoned children? If God existed, there would be neither suffering nor pain. I can't imagine a loving God who would allow all of these things.

The customer thought for a moment, but didn't respond because he didn't want to start an argument. The barber finished his job and the customer left the shop.

Just after he left the barbershop, he saw a man in the street with long, stringy, dirty hair and an untrimmed beard. He looked dirty and unkempt. The customer turned back and entered the barber shop again and he said to the barber: "You know what? Barbers do not exist."

"How can you say that?" asked the surprised barber.

"I am here, and I am a barber. And I just worked on you!"

"No!" the customer exclaimed. "Barbers don't exist because if they did, there would be no people with dirty long hair and untrimmed beards, like that man outside."

"Ah, but barbers DO exist! That's what happens when people do not come to me."

"Exactly!" affirmed the customer. "That's the point! God, too, DOES exist! That's what happens when people do not go to Him and don't look to Him for help. That's why there's so much pain and suffering in the world."

Johnnie wants to marry

One day Little Jonnie says to his father:

I want to get married.

Father: Oh, so do you have someone special in your mind?

Johnny: Yes...Grandma

Father: What? There is a problem now; you want to marry my Mother?

Johnny: Why not? You married my mother

How dumb can dumb be?

A couple walking in the park noticed a young man and woman sitting on a bench, passionately kissing.

"Why don't you do that?" said the wife.

"Honey," replied her husband, "I don't even know that woman!"