The love story of Ralph and Edna...

Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to, doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have.  Ralph and Edna were both patients in a mental hospital.  One day while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool.  Ralph suddenly jumped into the deep end.

He sank to the bottom of the pool and stayed there.

Edna promptly jumped in to save him.  She swam to the bottom and pulled him out.  When the Head Nurse Director became aware of Edna's heroic act she immediately ordered her to be discharged from the hospital, as she now considered her to be mentally stable.

When she went to tell Edna the news she said, 'Edna, I have good news and bad news.  The good news is you're being discharged, since you were able to rationally respond to a crisis by jumping in and saving the life of the person you love.  I have concluded that your act displays sound mindedness.

The bad news is, Ralph hung himself in the bathroom with his bathrobe belt right after you saved him.  I am so sorry, but he's dead.'

Edna replied, 'He didn't hang himself, I put him there to dry.  How soon can I go home?'

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Happy Mental Health Day!

You can do your bit by remembering to send an email to an unstable friend...

I have done my part..........

Women have the last word!

WIFE VS. HUSBAND

A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word.

An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them wanted to concede their position. As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs, the husband asked sarcastically, "Relatives of yours?"

"Yep," the wife replied, "in-laws."

W O R D S

A husband read an article to his wife about how many words women use a day...

30,000 to a man's 15,000.

The wife replied, "The reason has to be because we have to repeat everything to men...

The husband then turned to his wife and asked, "What?"

CREATION

A man said to his wife one day, "I don't know how you can be so stupid and so beautiful all at the same time." The wife responded, "Allow me to explain . God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me;  God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you!"

WHO DOES WHAT

A man and his wife were having an argument about who should brew the coffee each morning. The wife said, "You should do it, because you get up first, and then we don't have to wait as long to get our coffee."

The husband said, " You are in charge of cooking around here and you should do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait for my coffee."

Wife replies, "No, you should do it, and besides, it is in the Bible that the man should do the coffee."

Husband replies, "I can't believe that, show me."

So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New Testament and showed him at the top of several pages, that it indeed says.........."HEBREWS"

THE SILENT TREATMENT

A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment. Suddenly, the man realized that the next day, he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight. Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper, "Please wake me at 5:00 AM ." He left it where he knew she would find it. The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn't wakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed. The paper said, "It is 5:00 AM . Wake up."

Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests.

God may have created man before woman, but there is always a rough draft before the masterpiece.

SEND THIS TO SMART WOMEN WHO NEED A LAUGH AND TO MEN YOU THINK CAN HANDLE IT !

Politically Correct Jokes

The prime Minister of China called President Bush to console him after the attack on the Pentagon:

"I'm sorry to hear about the attack.It is a very big tragedy. But in case you are missing any documents from the Pentagon, we have copies of everything." 

============ ========= ========= ========= =====

Musharraf calls Bush on 11th sept:

Musharraf: Mr President, I would like to express my condolences to you. It is a real tragedy. So many people, such great bldgs... I would like to ensure that we had nothing in connection with that..

Bush: What buildings? What people??

Musharraf: Oh, and what time is it in America now? 

Bush: It's eight in the morning.

Musharraf: Oops...Will call back in an hour!

============ ========= ========= ========= ====

Vajpayee and Bush are sitting in a bar. A guy walks in and asks the barman, "Isn't that Bush and Vajpayee?"

The barman says "Yep, that's them." So the guy walks over and says, "Hello, what are you guys doing?" 

Bush says, "We're planning world war 3" 

The guy says, "Really? What's going to happen?"

And Vajpayee says, "Well, we're going to kill 14 million Pakistanis and one bicycle repairman." 

And the guy exclaimed, "A bicycle repairman?!! !" 

Vajpayee turns to Bush and says, "See, I told you no-one would worry about the 14 million Pakistanis!"

============ ========= ========= ========= ===== 

Pakistani on the moon:

Q: What do you call 1 Pakistani on the moon?

A: Problem...

Q: What do you call 10 Pakistanis on the moon?

A: Problem...

Q: What do you call a 100 Pakistanis on the moon? 

A: Problem...

Q: What do you call ALL the Pakistanis on the moon?

A: ...... Problem Solved!!!

============ ========= ========= ========= ===== 

A man is! taking a walk in Central park in New York . Suddenly he sees a  little girl being attacked by a pit bull dog.

He runs over and starts fighting with the dog. He succeeds in killing the dog and saving the girl's life.

A policeman who was watching the scene walks over and says: "You are a hero, tomorrow you can read it in all the newspapers:

"Brave New Yorker saves the life of little girl". 

The man says: "But I am not a New Yorker!"

Oh then it will say in newspapers in the morning: 

"Brave American saves life of little girl" the policeman answers.

"But I am not an American!" - says the man. Oh, what are you then?"

The man says: "I am a Pakistani!" 

The next day the newspapers say: "Extremist kills innocent American dog" 

How poor are you?

 

One day a father of a very wealthy family took his son on a trip to the country with the firm purpose of showing his son how poor people live. 

 

They spent a couple of days and nights on the farm of what would be considered a very poor family. On their return from the trip, the father asked his son, "How was the trip?" "It was great, Dad". 

 

"Did you see how poor people live?" the father asked. 

 

"Oh yes", said the son. "So, tell me, what did you learn from the trip?" asked the father. 

The son answered, "I saw that we have one dog and they had four. We have a pool that reaches to the middle of the garden and they have a creek that has no end. We have imported lanterns in our garden and they have the stars at night. 

 

Our patio reaches to the front yard and they have the whole horizon. We have a small piece of land to live on and they have fields that go beyond our sight. We have servants to serve us, but they serve others. 

 

We buy our food, but they grow theirs. We have walls around our property to protect us, they have friends to protect them." 

 

The boy's father was speechless. Then his son added, "Thanks, Dad for showing me how poor we are." 

 

Isn't perspective a wonderful thing ? Makes you wonder what would happen if we all gave thanks for everything we have, instead of worrying about what we don't have.